Columbus, OH: Home of the Bumpit and the Bachelorette

Our journey began yesterday morning with a few wonderful hours in Washington, D.C. After walking around the National Mall for a few hours, we noticed a few things:

1. The Prettiness Quotient (PQ) was far higher than I had originally anticipated. For future reference, PQ is a subjective, self-defined measure of the attractiveness of people we see in a given area. Conor and I were repeatedly wowed by the quality of the Washington population.

2. There are an abnormally large number of people wandering around with yoga mats on a Saturday afternoon.

3. Something called the Great Urban Race was in progress, which to to best of our knowledge is some kind of bizarre scavenger hunt across D.C. that often included the use of rather... odd costumes. One team's members were all women dressed in tutus and cardboard boxes. Snoopy and the Peanuts Posse also made an appearance.

Around 2:30 we tired of people-watching the scavenger hunt and set out on our great adventure. Destination: Ohio!

But first, we needed a Pennsylvania break. We stopped in Somerset, PA. A tiny town nestled between... well, nowhere and nowhere, really, this delightful slice of Middle America was a great place to grab ice cream and make fun of Conor for being uncomfortably tall. (See twitter).

Once back on the road, thus began four hours of continuous driving. Along the way, we followed an SUV for about an hour. I mention this because for the entire time we followed, this car drove about 90 miles an hour... with his hazards on, for some inexplicable reason.

Around 8:30 we hit Columbus and the main focus of this story. We ate dinner in the Arena District, so named for the fact that the entire area was planned and built around the construction of an arena for the hockey team (go... Blue Jackets?). We fine-dined at Mongolian Barbeque (yes, THAT Mongolian Barbecue) and met our waiter named Bill.

Conor and I have decided that we are going to do our best to ask everyone we have a real conversation with for their song recommendations for the road. After getting the lowdown on where to go to grab a drink after dinner (more on this later), Bill gives us his recommendation: "The Emergency" by BT. Later we checked on this recommendation. Bill: fail. Strange, strange choice, my friend. Unless you love 12 minute techno songs. Which apparently Bill does. A lot.

After dinner, we went to a HUUUUUGE bar called Brothers, which was a cool little bar for which we were completely underdressed (I noticed we were the only males wearing flip-flops in the district). We also noticed a few things about the population here as well:

1. PQ: very high. Impressively so, considering Columbus is not what you think of when you think of... yeah.

2. The bartenders at the bar were carefully selected for their physical attributes. Our bartender looked like a white Dwight Howard, except possibly scarier and more aggressive. Dwight Howard has a genuine smile. Our bartender looked like he would crush your head like a grape.

3. THERE WERE SO MANY BACHELORETTE PARTIES. Conor counted SEVEN in Brothers alone. This is absurd. We managed to strike up a conversation with a couple locals who told us that this is not unusual. Apparently, young romantic hopefuls in Columbus follow the following track:
Date a boy -> get engaged to boy -> go to bachelorette party at Brothers and drink brown things (?) -> get married.

4. For every bachelorette party, there were at LEAST a matching number of girls wearing Bumpets of infomercial fame. It was equally absurd. Conor and I counted eight and probably missed many more. Popular hairstyle, or home of the Bumpet? The world may never know.



(Sidenote: Conor and I have added things to do in each state - and have already failed to do most of these in Ohio. They include: over-the-top complimenting someone, getting our picture taken with someone, try a local beer if possible -fail in Ohio, and note the PQ in everywhere we stop.)

Finally, we decide to move on to our campsite in Whitewater State Park. There is not much notable about this part of the trip except that we had to put up the tent because - you guessed it - it started raining. We were awoken at about 9 the next morning by a screaming kid going by on Rollerblades... pulled by his dog. You can't make this stuff up.

As I write this, we're driving to Indianapolis, where we will probably break for coffee/lunch/busking if the weather improves. End goal for today is St. Louis, to link up with Conor's family friends, pick their brains about being doctors (mwahaha ulterior motives) and grab a shower. Yesss.

More to come! And comment, for crying out loud. Conor and I decided this blog is either going to be an ego boost or an ego destroyer. Please make it the former!