The Neanderthal Sandwich

This morning, Conor and I were awakened to a rather unusual sound: a goose fight. We decided last night to camp on the lake in Wilson State Park, KS. While beautiful, our campsite selection lent itself to some odd sounds. There were two couples of geese on the lake this morning that decided to duke it out, along with all the strange noises (kind of like dying babies) that entails. 

 Per usual, not my picture. But you get the idea.

After rousing ourselves (note: today marked the first time Conor got up before I did), we packed up the tent and headed out. It was really foggy when we left, so we were kind of unable to appreciate fully the beauty of the park. We have some pretty intense pictures of the Bridge to Nowhere, which should be uploaded soon.

So we drove starting at about 8:30 in the morning (yay crack of dawn wakeups while camping) and headed for Denver. Steve: We attempted to stop and see the World’s Largest Prairie Dog – look it up – but alas, it was closed. THERE WERE BILLBOARDS FOR IT FOR 125 MILES AND IT WAS CLOSED. Kansas, you are dead to me. Except Salina. I like you, Salina. You had a high PQ and you were showing Ironman II at convenient times.

Can you IMAGINE the awkward photo ops. I am SO MAD.

Sorry. We drove rather uneventfully to the state line, approximately 4 hours away.

The story gets interesting once we crossed into Colorado. We stopped about 100 miles inside Colorado (pocket change for us now) in Limon, a sleepy but cute little town. We were starving and looking for something to eat, and I found a restaurant called Ruby’s on my phone that had a review: “Ruby’s is hands down the best restaurant in Limon.” Now, considering this town is a bit on the small side I don’t know what that means, but we decided to stop there. After exploring this quaint, Western quasi-ghost town for a bit, we headed to Ruby’s.

Part I. Ruby’s.

We are promptly seated by what appears to be the store manager, who informs us the special for the day is a steak and cheese sandwich. Despite a surprisingly full menu, both Conor and I elect to get… the steak and cheese. Considering Conor and I are at the point where we are reading each other’s eyebrow expressions (true story), this should not be surprising to anyone.

It is now 11:59 AM, CST. Three minutes later, the entire working population of Limon (approximately fourteen people) arrives to get their lunch. Amazingly, every single person orders the steak and cheese.

We watched as plate after plate of the daily special went by. Apparently, and I missed this, some old guy on his birthday was gypped out of his steak and cheese: they ran out. Conor felt bad. I was oblivious, enraptured with my Tabasco-and-sandwich combination. Typical. It seems someone switched around orders so that the birthday geriatric got his sandwich. Some other poor bastard got a breakfast burrito. Loser.

People tell me I should be nicer. I wonder why.

Part II. Denver Day.

Thus tanked up, we left for Denver. After another two hours of driving, we made it. As we approached, we received an update from Angel, Conor’s friend (and now mine!), that it was HAILING in Denver.

Great. We can see the storm cloud as we are driving into it. It looks… well, scary. Luckily by the time we got to Denver, the weather had cleared. Conor and I parked right in the center of town and started exploring.

This is kind of interesting, because I am amazed by the somewhat… different population. Conor is grinning from ear to ear for the following reasons:

• Pedestrian friendliness
• Alternative fuel/electric buses that are free and plentiful
• Well-planned city design 

I am oblivious to all of these features, and am instead focusing on the girl in front of us with more piercings than limbs, a quarter of a shirt, and short shorts. An odd combination to say the least.

We walked around for an hour, waiting for Angel to get off work. By this point I am in desperate need of ice cream, and Conor and I have a number of the following conversations.

Me: I need ice cream.

Conor: There’s a Cheesecake Factory? (in that half-statement, half-questioning tone we know so well)

Me: No.

Conor: …Okay, there’s a frozen yog-

Me: No. Ice cream.

(Have you all seen the Snickers commercial where the guy is a diva till he gets fed? Yeah. That was me.)

We actually ended up getting frozen yogurt at a place called Kuulture (number of U’s is in dispute). But it was legitimately delicious, I was pleasant again, and we went to meet Angel at a coffee shop named Stella’s.

Stella’s is, hands down, the world’s most delicious-smelling coffee shop. I don’t know what the smell was, but… I want it. We grabbed some much-needed coffee, chatted a bit, then decided to head out to a place called Red Rocks Amphitheater to explore. Red Rocks is a giant stone mass of, you guessed it, red rocks conveniently arranged into a natural amphitheater. Seriously, though, this place was amazingly impressive. Check out the photos on the Picasa site here. Lots of photos of Red Rocks.

So why is this post called The Neanderthal Sandwich? On the way to Red Rocks, I noticed the sky was rather strange. On our left was clear blue sky. The middle was grey. The right was dark black with storm clouds. Like an idiot, I said, “it looks like a Neanderthal sandwich.”

I’ve rarely seen Conor so confused. After laughing in my face and correcting me (neapolitan ice cream, not a Neanderthal sandwich, you dips**t), he said that he was trying to picture what a caveman head had to do with weather.

This is a Neanderthal

This is a Neapolitan Sandwich.

OK, so you had to be there. It was funny to me.

Part III. Denver Night.

After hiking Red Rocks for awhile, we hopped back in the Roadmobile for a quick 10 minute jaunt to the Matous household. Let me digress from my usual tone here for a moment and point out the incredible hospitality we received at the home of Conor’s godparents. They invited us into their gorgeous house, offered us food and drink, and let us shower. We had an absolute feast, cooked by Jeff and Marie, delicious (and unusual!) wine, and great conversation. It’s very easy to see why the Fareses and Matouses are friends – same goes for the Millers. 

Needless to say, Conor and I are beyond grateful for the hospitality and help we have received along the way. If nature extends us the same courtesy, the next two days are going to be spectacular. We’re staying here tonight. Tomorrow is our last day of major driving!! WOW. We are heading to Fremont Indian State Park, about 8 hours away (500+ miles in one day, hooah), to camp prior to heading to Zion Canyon. We plan on spending 2 days and 2 nights in Zion with a potential trip to Bryce Canyon thrown in for good measure. It should be an absolute blast and a major highlight of the trip.

I doubt that I’ll be blogging much during this time, because canyons don’t generally offer Wi-Fi. Plus laptops kind of kill the mood. I will try to update, with pictures, this and Twitter (@nate_488) as much as I can with limited service, so keep checking.

Then, Vegas on Saturday night. I told Conor today that if he roofied my drink (he threatened), he would wake up with Mike Tyson’s tiger in the bathroom. If you didn’t see The Hangover, you didn’t get that joke, but it’s a metaphor for saying “stay tuned.” 

Upcoming: Fremont State Park, Zion Days I and II, and a hint of Vegas...